She gave me away.

One of the gifts God have me on our wedding day was my mother giving me away.

I have made so many mistakes in my life and as I get older God has shown me lessons through each of those mistakes, so now I call them lessons or opportunities to grow and mature.

Most of my life I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, I just navigated through it hoping to figure it out. I failed. Miserable.

Four years ago God found me, He took away the heart of stone and replaced it with flesh and gave me a new spirit. With that new heart so many things were exposed and God started to work in me. He didn’t shame me but He started to change me. Still is. Every single day.

Something I had always yearn for, my entire life was to have my beautiful biological mother in my life. To get to know her and be able to love her, as well as her get to know me.
For the past three years God has done something intimate and deep with our relationship. She came to the Lord tow years ago and we now have a closer relationship, we call each other and we text all the time.
It’s a bond I never dream to have. But, that’s what my Father God does.

On January 11th 2018 something out of a dream happened in my life. I got married to the love of my life, but also… my mother walked me the the isle and gave me away. Talk about emotional moments and nonstop tears. When I say “emotional” I’m not talking about that one moment emotion. No! It was years on years on years of so many mixed emotions. God mended our hearts.
To see her so excited and joyful, tears rolling down her face and hugging me none stop.
God always blessed me with women loving on me and for them I am grateful. However…I finally knew what it felt like to have that motherly love everyone always talked about. And yes, everyone was right when they said, “there is no love like your mothers love.”

As I walked up to the altar, before me I had the amazing husband God has blessed me with and next to me, there she was… the mother I always wanted and that bond I always dreamed of having with her.

I can’t express what January 11th will for ever mean to my heart. The healing that it brought, the love that was given back after years of the enemy trying to steal it away, the unity of families, the gospel being heart by many who had never heard it and the reconciliation.

This post if for you mom. I love you and I am so grateful for the wonderful woman God is shaping you to be. I am so proud of you, I am so proud of what you are allowing God to do in your life, I am proud to say you are my mother!

I love you.

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Uno de los regalos que Dios me hizo el día de nuestra boda fue que mi madre me entregara.

He cometido tantos errores en mi vida y a medida que envejezco, Dios me ha enseñado lecciones a través de cada uno de esos errores, así que ahora los llamo lecciones y oportunidades para crecer y madurar.

La mayor parte de mi vida no sabía lo que estaba haciendo, simplemente navegué a través de ella con la esperanza de resolverlo. Fallé. Miserable.

Hace cuatro años, Dios me encontró, me quitó el corazón de piedra y lo reemplazó con carne y me dio un nuevo espíritu. Con ese corazón nuevo, muchas cosas quedaron expuestas y Dios comenzó a trabajar en mí. Él no me avergonzó, pero comenzó a cambiarme. Todavía lo es. Todos los días.

Algo que siempre había anhelado, toda mi vida fue tener a mi hermosa madre biológica en mi vida. Para llegar a conocerla y poder amarla, así como a ella llegar a conocerme a mi.
Durante los últimos tres años, Dios ha hecho algo íntimo y profundo con nuestra relación. Ella vino al Señor hace tres años y ahora tenemos una relación más cercana, nos llamamos y enviamos mensajes de texto.
Es un vínculo que nunca sueñe tener. Pero, eso es lo que hace mi Padre Dios.

El 11 de enero de 2018 sucedió algo de un sueño en mi vida. Me casé con el amor de mi vida, pero también … mi madre me acompañó a el altar y entregó. Hablo de momentos emocionales y lágrimas ininterrumpidas. Cuando digo “emocional” no estoy hablando de esa emoción de un momento. ¡No! Fue años tras años en años de tantas emociones mezcladas. Dios reparó nuestros corazones.
Al verla tan emocionada y alegre, las lágrimas rodando por su bello rostro y abrazándome no se detienen.
Dios siempre me bendijo con mujeres que me amaban y por ellas estoy agradecida. Sin embargo … finalmente supe lo que es tener ese amor maternal del que todos siempre hablaban. Y sí, todos tenían razón cuando dijeron: “no hay amor como el amor de tu madre”.

Mientras caminaba hacia el altar, tenía el increíble esposo con el que Dios me había bendecido y, junto a mí, allí estaba ella … la madre que siempre quise y ese vínculo que siempre soñé tener con ella.

No puedo expresar lo que el 11 de enero significará para mi corazón. La curación que trajo, el amor que se devolvió después de años de que el enemigo intento robarlo, la unidad de las familias, el evangelio al corazón de muchos que nunca lo habían escuchado y la reconciliación.

Esta publicación es para ti mamá. Te amo y estoy muy agradecido por la mujer maravillosa en la cual Dios te está moldeando para ser. Estoy orgulloso de ti, estoy orgulloso de lo que estás permitiendo que Dios haga en tu vida.

¡me enorgullece decir que eres mi madre!

Te quiero.

White as snow.

February 8th, 2018.

On our honeymoon God spoke to us so deeply and brought us together in such beautiful way.
Second half of the honeymoon God spoken to me specifically.snow 2

Through the snow!
I look at this photograph that my husband took and all I see is the celebration of Christ washing me white as snow.


To know that no matter all that has happened in our lives, the
sins we have made, the suffering we have endured, the traumas of our past, the hurtful circumstances we went through before Christ, the nasty, the ugly, the painful… to know that we have a Savior that gave it all for us. For our salvation and for the cleansingof all our hearts, mind and soul!

Lets celebrate together in knowing Christ is alive, Christ loves us, Christ forgives us, Christ died on a cross for us, for our sufferings, for our tears, for our heartache, for the rejections, for the abandonment, for the laughter of the enemy at us, for the bad things said about us, the lies spoken against us.
Christ has cleansed us, and continues to do so… each and every day.
WE are loved, WE are forgiven, in Christ WE are washed and are white as snow.

Beloved, tonight as you read this, allow Christ to be the loverof your soul, the Lord and Savior of your life.
I love you and I am praying for you. I am giving you the
Biblical truth of God, that some one have to me.


Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”
{Isaiah 1:18}


“Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”
{Psalm 51:6-7}


“She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.”
{Proverbs 31:20-21}

Bad thoughts.

January 29, 2018.

For the next few weeks I will be posting specific prayers. I was on a site and randomly prayers for specific things came up. They can be found on ” prayerforanxiety.com ”

These prayers are so powerful that I have to share them!!!!

Reading so many post about anxiety, depression, bad thoughts, relationships, family, etc… I want to give encouragement in the best way I can possibly do so, What better way than through prayers.

Today I will be posting a prayer about having bad thoughts. I pray this helps someone out there.

Prayer against bad thoughts.

Dear loving God,

sometimes I have,

terrible thoughts

That run through my head.

Do You see me, dear Lord?

Do You see my struggle?

You are mighty,

You are strong,

And You love me.

Set me free Lord!

Remove the bad thoughts

that tournament me.

Cast the enemy out,

of my mind and life.

Let no attack, deceit,

Or contamination affect me anymore.

For I have been washed clean

by the blood of the Lamb.

Your might Spirit Spirit protects me always.

All victory is yours alone.

Dear loving God,

clear my mind,

bring rest to my heart,

with the sweet caress,

of your loving grace.

In Jesus’ holy name,

Amen!

My prayer today is that The Father can set you free from those bad thoughts the enemy wants to keep you captive with. Ask the Father in the Son’s name. (Jesus Christ)

I love you and know that I am praying for you!

Saved.

January 27, 2108.

With great JOY in my heart, today I celebrate the beautiful day in which I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior four years ago. To God and God alone I give all credit, honor and praise.

The day I died to self and was reborn in Him! The day He covered me and made me white as snow. 

I can not put it in any other words what being His means. He is enough. He is sufficient.

Four years ago, alone in my room as the painful tears ran down my face and with the shame of not measuring up to the expectations of others, feeling like I was not good enough no matter what I did, lost, empty, depressed, sad, insecure and unloved. 

GOD whispered softly and gently to me with love, “Krystell, My grace is enough!” as I also received a new breath of life from the Holy Spirit, giving me comfort and peace to know I AM ENOUGH. I AM LOVED. I AM FORGIVEN. I AM MADE NEW. I AM HIS! 
The approval of people was no longer needed, for in Him the old has gone and the new is here.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
{2 Corinthians 5:17.}saved 10

Your love cast out all fear. 

Best decision of my life.
All I can say is I LOVE YOU LORD.
Thank You for choosing me.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.” {John 15:16.}

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The prayer four years ago was that God would use me for His glory, to use the testimony of my life for His glory. What ever that was going to look like, at that time I didn’t know it.

 The Lord turned what the enemy meant for mess and destruction into testimonies of who He is in my life and what He has done The transformation, from the inside-out. 

I will admit I ran away from the calling on my life, I was ashamed of what I had done in the past. before Christ. I was so petrified of others knowing the dark and sinful life I lived. Once I stepped out in faith and prayed for boldness, God moved in a way I can not explain. I have never looked back and for that I thank God ever single day of my life. In the good and in the bad.

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Honored that God choose me, honored that He allows me to speak truth into the lives of young girls and women, honored that I can share the gospel and the truth of who they are in Christ. Honored & humbled I get to live in His freedom. 

gospel

Beloved, God wants to use you, He wants to show you a life of freedom and love you have never experienced before. Today I want to invite you to know (if you don’t already) Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

Only through the Son can you get to the Father and He is waiting for you with open arms.

Tonight as you read this, whomever you may be, I pray the Holy Spirit touches you. I pray for any brokenness in your heart to be mended, for anything the enemy is tormenting your mind  with to be gone, for any issues at home or addictions that may exist in secrecy, I pray in the name of Jesus you are healed from all of it.

Just as He saved me today four years ago, He wants to do the same with you, you just have to be willing my darling.

I love you and I am praying for you.

No Fear.

January 25, 2018.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, & where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”{2 Corinthians 3:17.} 

This photograph was taken when Sebastian prayed for us, minutes before walking down the isle. He didn’t know how I looked, what I was wearing, or how my make up or hair were done.

praye3r 3

No relationship is ever going to be perfect, there will be many challenges, you will fall & not agree all the time. I will be the first one to admit not everything was easy, there were expectations God put in perspective real fast, there were walls that had to come down, healing had to happen in the both of us, growing & maturing.

{You can’t get married before you know who you are in Christ, before you allow God to mature you, grow you, prune you, mold you & heal you.}

Today I thank God for the challenges, I thank Him for the growth, the maturing, the pruning, the molding, the healing that happened in the both of us.

I thank God for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. We have had the most amazing grace & mercy shown to us by God. It is truly overwhelming.

Today I can truly say I married my best friend, the one whom my soul loves & my gorgeous husband. I get to brag on him for the rest of my life. We get to live in the freedom God gives us through the Holy Spirit. We are forgiven of our sins & we are sanctified every single day.kiss

For such a long time I believed the lies of the enemy, telling me I would never be worthy of calling myself a wife, that no one would love me because of my past, that I would never have a home I would call mine. Tonight as I am writing this, I look in the face of the enemy & I can say, “GOD ALWAYS WINS.”

I laugh of the future with no fear!!!laugh

I am the living proof that God always finishes what He starts, the promises over your life will come true, no matter how dark or ugly your past is, no matter what you have done or what someone else has done to you & no matter if you have fallen over & over again! You are WORTHY of love, you are worthy of joy, you are worthy of freedom in the LORD.

I am beyond thankful with the Lord for giving me the husband I always saw in my heart without a face. I look over & with tears of Joy inside my eyes, I finally see that face of that promise.

prayer 4
(Just look at that smile!!! Speaks more than words.)

Beloved, yes, you reading this… if God can do this in my life, all of it, HE can & will in you!

You just have to be willingto allow Him to strip you of you, stretch you in ways you never knew possible, lay it all down at the feet of the cross where Jesus Christ will cover you with His blood & make you white as snow. Let Him expose you, not to SHAME you but to CHANGE you & give you that freedom you so desperately seek.

Tonight I invite you to know Jesus as your Lord & savior, to transform you from the inside out. I am here if you need me! 

I love you & I am praying for you.

You reading this!

“You wear your heart on your sleeve.” #METOO

October 17, 2017.

At a young age I learned to be heartless & show no emotion. Why??? Growing up I would cry because my feelings were hurt, feeling lost, confuse, alone, dirty & stained all due to the abuses. (Sounds familiar?)

As I grew older I realized that the more I showed no emotion in the presence of others, the more I pushed people away due to my coldness.

Little did they know when I went home,

the abuses haunted me & penetrated my heart like

a sharp knife that would make my soul bleed.

I wanted to trust, I wanted to show emotion, I wanted to stop pushing people away… but I just couldn’t.

You see abuse does that to you, youcan’t trust, even if you try.                                        In lack of understanding others can’t relate. Not because they don’t want to but because they have never experienced it themselves.

I became a human cork in where anyone & everyone would stick a painful pin on me with a label of their choosing.
Not realizing that I had all of those labels on me, the more I became them,                   even though I fought so hard to not be them… needless to say, I failed for a large portion of my life.

So yes. ME TOO. Time after time. From the age of five years old.

THEN, I met Him.

The healer who took the time to heal me.

I met HIM, the lover who took the time to love me.

I met Him, the caretaker who took care of me.

I met Him, the first man who truly saw me.

He had been there all along, finally I saw Him too.

No longer do I have labels pined to me. He took them all away!

I do have scars from on all the pins that held on to my skin for so many years.

However, Jesus has covered them with grace & love.

(He has washed away my sins.)

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Now wearing my heart on my sleeve is the most beautiful thing I could ever do. No more coldness or hardness.
I am free to love, to care, to show emotions/feelings, to speak truth, to speak life to other young girls, ladies & women about the restoration, the healing, the life changing freedom God has given me through His son Jesus Christ.
Life that only comes from God. (If you made it this far, you may now understand me a little better.)

Today, if you can relate to #METOO.

I want to tell you that God can heal you too. Say ME TOO to Jesus!“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.” 

{Jeremiah 30:17.}

My prayer is that today you seek God & give Him all of the abuse. Whatever that may look like. Only He can heal you.

Restless.

January 1, 2018.

How was your 2017?  Today was the first day of the 2018 year.

As I woke up today I was overwhelmed, so many emotions. I sat there & silently prayed, the Holy Spirit showed me how God protected me & guided me through all the up’s & down’s. Specially when I was RESTLESS.

On a particular day, it was a Sunday, I cried so much… it seemed as if NO MATTER what I would do, how I would do it, or when I would do it, was never good enough. I kept beating myself up because I was RESTLESS. yes!!! RESTLESS.

{It was so frustrating to my heart,

I wasn’t thinking clearly,

I wasn’t sleeping & I was

RESTLESS.}

I lived at the dorms of the university I was attending at the time. One of my roommates “Valentina” took it upon herself to get me out of the dorm. I was dressed in a dress, with flowers printed on it. She asked me if I could take pictures of her in a field with flowers. luckily, I knew a place with that description. we arrived & after taking pictures of her, she took the camera from me… she started taking pictures of me. (I am usually the one taking the pictures.) She said. “lay down!”

you portect me

At that moment I rested on that green grass, surrounded with beautiful flowers & feeling a breeze that touched my skin like a kiss I’ve never felt before. God kissed me through the nature, He hugged me through the wind, the fragrance of flowers covered me & at that moment I was able to finally rest. IN HIM. 

I understood….. not everyone will agree with you,  not everyone will be proud of you, not everyone will like you & not everyone will see the best in you & only focus on the bad you have done or will do. However, one thing I do want to share  with you, friend.

To God you are more than enough. flaws & all!!!!!

You can sure rest In GOD!!!!

Tonight, on the 1st of January of 2018. I want to give you a reminder of the security we have to REST in the Lord. He alone can refresh your soul!

{Psalm 23}

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house  of the Lord
    forever.

Tonight my prayer is that you find the rest you are seeking for & have such joy that even in the bad… you are able to smile so big & laugh so loud that you forget why you were restless in the first place!