She gave me away.

One of the gifts God have me on our wedding day was my mother giving me away.

I have made so many mistakes in my life and as I get older God has shown me lessons through each of those mistakes, so now I call them lessons or opportunities to grow and mature.

Most of my life I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, I just navigated through it hoping to figure it out. I failed. Miserable.

Four years ago God found me, He took away the heart of stone and replaced it with flesh and gave me a new spirit. With that new heart so many things were exposed and God started to work in me. He didn’t shame me but He started to change me. Still is. Every single day.

Something I had always yearn for, my entire life was to have my beautiful biological mother in my life. To get to know her and be able to love her, as well as her get to know me.
For the past three years God has done something intimate and deep with our relationship. She came to the Lord tow years ago and we now have a closer relationship, we call each other and we text all the time.
It’s a bond I never dream to have. But, that’s what my Father God does.

On January 11th 2018 something out of a dream happened in my life. I got married to the love of my life, but also… my mother walked me the the isle and gave me away. Talk about emotional moments and nonstop tears. When I say “emotional” I’m not talking about that one moment emotion. No! It was years on years on years of so many mixed emotions. God mended our hearts.
To see her so excited and joyful, tears rolling down her face and hugging me none stop.
God always blessed me with women loving on me and for them I am grateful. However…I finally knew what it felt like to have that motherly love everyone always talked about. And yes, everyone was right when they said, “there is no love like your mothers love.”

As I walked up to the altar, before me I had the amazing husband God has blessed me with and next to me, there she was… the mother I always wanted and that bond I always dreamed of having with her.

I can’t express what January 11th will for ever mean to my heart. The healing that it brought, the love that was given back after years of the enemy trying to steal it away, the unity of families, the gospel being heart by many who had never heard it and the reconciliation.

This post if for you mom. I love you and I am so grateful for the wonderful woman God is shaping you to be. I am so proud of you, I am so proud of what you are allowing God to do in your life, I am proud to say you are my mother!

I love you.

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Uno de los regalos que Dios me hizo el día de nuestra boda fue que mi madre me entregara.

He cometido tantos errores en mi vida y a medida que envejezco, Dios me ha enseñado lecciones a través de cada uno de esos errores, así que ahora los llamo lecciones y oportunidades para crecer y madurar.

La mayor parte de mi vida no sabía lo que estaba haciendo, simplemente navegué a través de ella con la esperanza de resolverlo. Fallé. Miserable.

Hace cuatro años, Dios me encontró, me quitó el corazón de piedra y lo reemplazó con carne y me dio un nuevo espíritu. Con ese corazón nuevo, muchas cosas quedaron expuestas y Dios comenzó a trabajar en mí. Él no me avergonzó, pero comenzó a cambiarme. Todavía lo es. Todos los días.

Algo que siempre había anhelado, toda mi vida fue tener a mi hermosa madre biológica en mi vida. Para llegar a conocerla y poder amarla, así como a ella llegar a conocerme a mi.
Durante los últimos tres años, Dios ha hecho algo íntimo y profundo con nuestra relación. Ella vino al Señor hace tres años y ahora tenemos una relación más cercana, nos llamamos y enviamos mensajes de texto.
Es un vínculo que nunca sueñe tener. Pero, eso es lo que hace mi Padre Dios.

El 11 de enero de 2018 sucedió algo de un sueño en mi vida. Me casé con el amor de mi vida, pero también … mi madre me acompañó a el altar y entregó. Hablo de momentos emocionales y lágrimas ininterrumpidas. Cuando digo “emocional” no estoy hablando de esa emoción de un momento. ¡No! Fue años tras años en años de tantas emociones mezcladas. Dios reparó nuestros corazones.
Al verla tan emocionada y alegre, las lágrimas rodando por su bello rostro y abrazándome no se detienen.
Dios siempre me bendijo con mujeres que me amaban y por ellas estoy agradecida. Sin embargo … finalmente supe lo que es tener ese amor maternal del que todos siempre hablaban. Y sí, todos tenían razón cuando dijeron: “no hay amor como el amor de tu madre”.

Mientras caminaba hacia el altar, tenía el increíble esposo con el que Dios me había bendecido y, junto a mí, allí estaba ella … la madre que siempre quise y ese vínculo que siempre soñé tener con ella.

No puedo expresar lo que el 11 de enero significará para mi corazón. La curación que trajo, el amor que se devolvió después de años de que el enemigo intento robarlo, la unidad de las familias, el evangelio al corazón de muchos que nunca lo habían escuchado y la reconciliación.

Esta publicación es para ti mamá. Te amo y estoy muy agradecido por la mujer maravillosa en la cual Dios te está moldeando para ser. Estoy orgulloso de ti, estoy orgulloso de lo que estás permitiendo que Dios haga en tu vida.

¡me enorgullece decir que eres mi madre!

Te quiero.

White as snow.

February 8th, 2018.

On our honeymoon God spoke to us so deeply and brought us together in such beautiful way.
Second half of the honeymoon God spoken to me specifically.snow 2

Through the snow!
I look at this photograph that my husband took and all I see is the celebration of Christ washing me white as snow.


To know that no matter all that has happened in our lives, the
sins we have made, the suffering we have endured, the traumas of our past, the hurtful circumstances we went through before Christ, the nasty, the ugly, the painful… to know that we have a Savior that gave it all for us. For our salvation and for the cleansingof all our hearts, mind and soul!

Lets celebrate together in knowing Christ is alive, Christ loves us, Christ forgives us, Christ died on a cross for us, for our sufferings, for our tears, for our heartache, for the rejections, for the abandonment, for the laughter of the enemy at us, for the bad things said about us, the lies spoken against us.
Christ has cleansed us, and continues to do so… each and every day.
WE are loved, WE are forgiven, in Christ WE are washed and are white as snow.

Beloved, tonight as you read this, allow Christ to be the loverof your soul, the Lord and Savior of your life.
I love you and I am praying for you. I am giving you the
Biblical truth of God, that some one have to me.


Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”
{Isaiah 1:18}


“Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”
{Psalm 51:6-7}


“She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.”
{Proverbs 31:20-21}

No Fear.

January 25, 2018.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, & where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”{2 Corinthians 3:17.} 

This photograph was taken when Sebastian prayed for us, minutes before walking down the isle. He didn’t know how I looked, what I was wearing, or how my make up or hair were done.

praye3r 3

No relationship is ever going to be perfect, there will be many challenges, you will fall & not agree all the time. I will be the first one to admit not everything was easy, there were expectations God put in perspective real fast, there were walls that had to come down, healing had to happen in the both of us, growing & maturing.

{You can’t get married before you know who you are in Christ, before you allow God to mature you, grow you, prune you, mold you & heal you.}

Today I thank God for the challenges, I thank Him for the growth, the maturing, the pruning, the molding, the healing that happened in the both of us.

I thank God for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. We have had the most amazing grace & mercy shown to us by God. It is truly overwhelming.

Today I can truly say I married my best friend, the one whom my soul loves & my gorgeous husband. I get to brag on him for the rest of my life. We get to live in the freedom God gives us through the Holy Spirit. We are forgiven of our sins & we are sanctified every single day.kiss

For such a long time I believed the lies of the enemy, telling me I would never be worthy of calling myself a wife, that no one would love me because of my past, that I would never have a home I would call mine. Tonight as I am writing this, I look in the face of the enemy & I can say, “GOD ALWAYS WINS.”

I laugh of the future with no fear!!!laugh

I am the living proof that God always finishes what He starts, the promises over your life will come true, no matter how dark or ugly your past is, no matter what you have done or what someone else has done to you & no matter if you have fallen over & over again! You are WORTHY of love, you are worthy of joy, you are worthy of freedom in the LORD.

I am beyond thankful with the Lord for giving me the husband I always saw in my heart without a face. I look over & with tears of Joy inside my eyes, I finally see that face of that promise.

prayer 4
(Just look at that smile!!! Speaks more than words.)

Beloved, yes, you reading this… if God can do this in my life, all of it, HE can & will in you!

You just have to be willingto allow Him to strip you of you, stretch you in ways you never knew possible, lay it all down at the feet of the cross where Jesus Christ will cover you with His blood & make you white as snow. Let Him expose you, not to SHAME you but to CHANGE you & give you that freedom you so desperately seek.

Tonight I invite you to know Jesus as your Lord & savior, to transform you from the inside out. I am here if you need me! 

I love you & I am praying for you.

You reading this!

“You wear your heart on your sleeve.” #METOO

October 17, 2017.

At a young age I learned to be heartless & show no emotion. Why??? Growing up I would cry because my feelings were hurt, feeling lost, confuse, alone, dirty & stained all due to the abuses. (Sounds familiar?)

As I grew older I realized that the more I showed no emotion in the presence of others, the more I pushed people away due to my coldness.

Little did they know when I went home,

the abuses haunted me & penetrated my heart like

a sharp knife that would make my soul bleed.

I wanted to trust, I wanted to show emotion, I wanted to stop pushing people away… but I just couldn’t.

You see abuse does that to you, youcan’t trust, even if you try.                                        In lack of understanding others can’t relate. Not because they don’t want to but because they have never experienced it themselves.

I became a human cork in where anyone & everyone would stick a painful pin on me with a label of their choosing.
Not realizing that I had all of those labels on me, the more I became them,                   even though I fought so hard to not be them… needless to say, I failed for a large portion of my life.

So yes. ME TOO. Time after time. From the age of five years old.

THEN, I met Him.

The healer who took the time to heal me.

I met HIM, the lover who took the time to love me.

I met Him, the caretaker who took care of me.

I met Him, the first man who truly saw me.

He had been there all along, finally I saw Him too.

No longer do I have labels pined to me. He took them all away!

I do have scars from on all the pins that held on to my skin for so many years.

However, Jesus has covered them with grace & love.

(He has washed away my sins.)

D61D5A19-D9BC-43A2-B5A7-3871885D7E27

Now wearing my heart on my sleeve is the most beautiful thing I could ever do. No more coldness or hardness.
I am free to love, to care, to show emotions/feelings, to speak truth, to speak life to other young girls, ladies & women about the restoration, the healing, the life changing freedom God has given me through His son Jesus Christ.
Life that only comes from God. (If you made it this far, you may now understand me a little better.)

Today, if you can relate to #METOO.

I want to tell you that God can heal you too. Say ME TOO to Jesus!“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.” 

{Jeremiah 30:17.}

My prayer is that today you seek God & give Him all of the abuse. Whatever that may look like. Only He can heal you.

Restless.

January 1, 2018.

How was your 2017?  Today was the first day of the 2018 year.

As I woke up today I was overwhelmed, so many emotions. I sat there & silently prayed, the Holy Spirit showed me how God protected me & guided me through all the up’s & down’s. Specially when I was RESTLESS.

On a particular day, it was a Sunday, I cried so much… it seemed as if NO MATTER what I would do, how I would do it, or when I would do it, was never good enough. I kept beating myself up because I was RESTLESS. yes!!! RESTLESS.

{It was so frustrating to my heart,

I wasn’t thinking clearly,

I wasn’t sleeping & I was

RESTLESS.}

I lived at the dorms of the university I was attending at the time. One of my roommates “Valentina” took it upon herself to get me out of the dorm. I was dressed in a dress, with flowers printed on it. She asked me if I could take pictures of her in a field with flowers. luckily, I knew a place with that description. we arrived & after taking pictures of her, she took the camera from me… she started taking pictures of me. (I am usually the one taking the pictures.) She said. “lay down!”

you portect me

At that moment I rested on that green grass, surrounded with beautiful flowers & feeling a breeze that touched my skin like a kiss I’ve never felt before. God kissed me through the nature, He hugged me through the wind, the fragrance of flowers covered me & at that moment I was able to finally rest. IN HIM. 

I understood….. not everyone will agree with you,  not everyone will be proud of you, not everyone will like you & not everyone will see the best in you & only focus on the bad you have done or will do. However, one thing I do want to share  with you, friend.

To God you are more than enough. flaws & all!!!!!

You can sure rest In GOD!!!!

Tonight, on the 1st of January of 2018. I want to give you a reminder of the security we have to REST in the Lord. He alone can refresh your soul!

{Psalm 23}

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house  of the Lord
    forever.

Tonight my prayer is that you find the rest you are seeking for & have such joy that even in the bad… you are able to smile so big & laugh so loud that you forget why you were restless in the first place!

A Simple Cup of Coffee.

December 30, 2017.

If you are anything like me, you like a large hot cup of coffee with half & half creamer & pumps of sweetener. I will confess that I like coffee a bit too much…

Always love going to Starbucks & people-watch, I know… what a stalker, LOL.  While sitting there, you get to know people & sometimes you don’t even talk to them to get to know them. . Amazing huh? how a simple book can tell you about a person, facial expressions, overhearing a conversation, or in fact having a conversation with them, while waiting in the long line. coffee line

Most times individuals will smile back if I smile at them, then go back to no emotion face.

(One thing I have prayed strongly for is that the Lord gives me the eyes to see people like Him & the heart to love like Him in a deep way. )

Often I will pay for others simple cup of coffee & God opens conversations through it. What comes to light through those conversations is what satan whats to keep in darkness, confessions happen & God is welcomed into the place & it is wonderful to see how a simple cup of coffee opens the door for God to bring freedom & healing. It always comes to ” Identity.” coffee3

Alot of us do this at one point or the other. At times we all hide how we truly feel from others but most importantly from GOD. We choose a mask everyday THINKING we are truly hiding from the world. Reality is that we destroy ourselves… We think we don’t have a way out or that no one cares.
Our human nature automatically tells us that we must take care of our problems alone & hide them. This is not true! We are never alone, God knows all & everything about us. Also, He is with us at all times.
The more we take control of everything the more we don’t allow God to shows us His glory on earth for us. 


You see…. God is all powerful &  nothing of this world is more powerful than Him; our problems, pains, struggles, memories, etc… these things are things that will follow us. When we allow God to enter our hearts & proclaim His son Jesus Christ as our Lord & Savior, all of this things become none important. You don’t have to do anything or change anything, He (GOD) will do the changes for you, you no longer will need to choose a daily mask to hide, He will give you a permanent day to day joyful true identity.When we come to the Lord, He gives us the identity we search for in the world & the things this world has to offer & we never find. In fact, we only get more lost BUT in God…. the identity will be what you never thought could ever be. God is a God of love, He loves you & wants the best for you.

I would like to encourage you to search for those things you so badly desire in God. (The eternal God.)

Today my amazing best friend (Whom I will say “I do” to soon) through a simple cup of coffee & a photo sesh, brought encouragement to my heart & some cute pictures I didn’t know he was taking.

Allow those random cups of coffee to happen, have boldness to allow the Holy Spirit to speak through you & to you. It’s so much more than just A CUP OF COFFEE! 

I pray you no longer wear any masks & you my brother or sister in Christ find your true identity in Him; God!

{Jeremiah 29:11.} “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Healing.

December 29, 2017.

At times in life we will come across individuals or situations that will bring us down & makes us feel as if we are not good enough or LOVED. These situations we face come with many emotions such as; sadness, depression, confusion, tears, loneliness, anger & hate… It is very easy to fall into a dark hole that the enemy wants to put you in.

Today I would like to remind you how loved you are by Jesus Christ.

He converts “sadness” into happiness, “confusion” into clarity, “tears” into smiles, “loneliness” into companionship, “anger” into calmness & “hate” into LOVE.

These are gifts God gives to our lives through His son Jesus Christ. When we open our hearts & trust in the Lord, clarity of who He is will come with showers of grace!

I would like to encourage you to always remember that Jesus LOVES you more than anyone will ever love you, you are not alone or forgotten & you my friend are more than enough. No matter the situation you find yourself in, there is another side of pain. HEALING. 

{Psalm 147:3} “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”