“You wear your heart on your sleeve.” #METOO

October 17, 2017.

At a young age I learned to be heartless & show no emotion. Why??? Growing up I would cry because my feelings were hurt, feeling lost, confuse, alone, dirty & stained all due to the abuses. (Sounds familiar?)

As I grew older I realized that the more I showed no emotion in the presence of others, the more I pushed people away due to my coldness.

Little did they know when I went home,

the abuses haunted me & penetrated my heart like

a sharp knife that would make my soul bleed.

I wanted to trust, I wanted to show emotion, I wanted to stop pushing people away… but I just couldn’t.

You see abuse does that to you, youcan’t trust, even if you try.                                        In lack of understanding others can’t relate. Not because they don’t want to but because they have never experienced it themselves.

I became a human cork in where anyone & everyone would stick a painful pin on me with a label of their choosing.
Not realizing that I had all of those labels on me, the more I became them,                   even though I fought so hard to not be them… needless to say, I failed for a large portion of my life.

So yes. ME TOO. Time after time. From the age of five years old.

THEN, I met Him.

The healer who took the time to heal me.

I met HIM, the lover who took the time to love me.

I met Him, the caretaker who took care of me.

I met Him, the first man who truly saw me.

He had been there all along, finally I saw Him too.

No longer do I have labels pined to me. He took them all away!

I do have scars from on all the pins that held on to my skin for so many years.

However, Jesus has covered them with grace & love.

(He has washed away my sins.)

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Now wearing my heart on my sleeve is the most beautiful thing I could ever do. No more coldness or hardness.
I am free to love, to care, to show emotions/feelings, to speak truth, to speak life to other young girls, ladies & women about the restoration, the healing, the life changing freedom God has given me through His son Jesus Christ.
Life that only comes from God. (If you made it this far, you may now understand me a little better.)

Today, if you can relate to #METOO.

I want to tell you that God can heal you too. Say ME TOO to Jesus!“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.” 

{Jeremiah 30:17.}

My prayer is that today you seek God & give Him all of the abuse. Whatever that may look like. Only He can heal you.

Restless.

January 1, 2018.

How was your 2017?  Today was the first day of the 2018 year.

As I woke up today I was overwhelmed, so many emotions. I sat there & silently prayed, the Holy Spirit showed me how God protected me & guided me through all the up’s & down’s. Specially when I was RESTLESS.

On a particular day, it was a Sunday, I cried so much… it seemed as if NO MATTER what I would do, how I would do it, or when I would do it, was never good enough. I kept beating myself up because I was RESTLESS. yes!!! RESTLESS.

{It was so frustrating to my heart,

I wasn’t thinking clearly,

I wasn’t sleeping & I was

RESTLESS.}

I lived at the dorms of the university I was attending at the time. One of my roommates “Valentina” took it upon herself to get me out of the dorm. I was dressed in a dress, with flowers printed on it. She asked me if I could take pictures of her in a field with flowers. luckily, I knew a place with that description. we arrived & after taking pictures of her, she took the camera from me… she started taking pictures of me. (I am usually the one taking the pictures.) She said. “lay down!”

you portect me

At that moment I rested on that green grass, surrounded with beautiful flowers & feeling a breeze that touched my skin like a kiss I’ve never felt before. God kissed me through the nature, He hugged me through the wind, the fragrance of flowers covered me & at that moment I was able to finally rest. IN HIM. 

I understood….. not everyone will agree with you,  not everyone will be proud of you, not everyone will like you & not everyone will see the best in you & only focus on the bad you have done or will do. However, one thing I do want to share  with you, friend.

To God you are more than enough. flaws & all!!!!!

You can sure rest In GOD!!!!

Tonight, on the 1st of January of 2018. I want to give you a reminder of the security we have to REST in the Lord. He alone can refresh your soul!

{Psalm 23}

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house  of the Lord
    forever.

Tonight my prayer is that you find the rest you are seeking for & have such joy that even in the bad… you are able to smile so big & laugh so loud that you forget why you were restless in the first place!

A Simple Cup of Coffee.

December 30, 2017.

If you are anything like me, you like a large hot cup of coffee with half & half creamer & pumps of sweetener. I will confess that I like coffee a bit too much…

Always love going to Starbucks & people-watch, I know… what a stalker, LOL.  While sitting there, you get to know people & sometimes you don’t even talk to them to get to know them. . Amazing huh? how a simple book can tell you about a person, facial expressions, overhearing a conversation, or in fact having a conversation with them, while waiting in the long line. coffee line

Most times individuals will smile back if I smile at them, then go back to no emotion face.

(One thing I have prayed strongly for is that the Lord gives me the eyes to see people like Him & the heart to love like Him in a deep way. )

Often I will pay for others simple cup of coffee & God opens conversations through it. What comes to light through those conversations is what satan whats to keep in darkness, confessions happen & God is welcomed into the place & it is wonderful to see how a simple cup of coffee opens the door for God to bring freedom & healing. It always comes to ” Identity.” coffee3

Alot of us do this at one point or the other. At times we all hide how we truly feel from others but most importantly from GOD. We choose a mask everyday THINKING we are truly hiding from the world. Reality is that we destroy ourselves… We think we don’t have a way out or that no one cares.
Our human nature automatically tells us that we must take care of our problems alone & hide them. This is not true! We are never alone, God knows all & everything about us. Also, He is with us at all times.
The more we take control of everything the more we don’t allow God to shows us His glory on earth for us. 


You see…. God is all powerful &  nothing of this world is more powerful than Him; our problems, pains, struggles, memories, etc… these things are things that will follow us. When we allow God to enter our hearts & proclaim His son Jesus Christ as our Lord & Savior, all of this things become none important. You don’t have to do anything or change anything, He (GOD) will do the changes for you, you no longer will need to choose a daily mask to hide, He will give you a permanent day to day joyful true identity.When we come to the Lord, He gives us the identity we search for in the world & the things this world has to offer & we never find. In fact, we only get more lost BUT in God…. the identity will be what you never thought could ever be. God is a God of love, He loves you & wants the best for you.

I would like to encourage you to search for those things you so badly desire in God. (The eternal God.)

Today my amazing best friend (Whom I will say “I do” to soon) through a simple cup of coffee & a photo sesh, brought encouragement to my heart & some cute pictures I didn’t know he was taking.

Allow those random cups of coffee to happen, have boldness to allow the Holy Spirit to speak through you & to you. It’s so much more than just A CUP OF COFFEE! 

I pray you no longer wear any masks & you my brother or sister in Christ find your true identity in Him; God!

{Jeremiah 29:11.} “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Healing.

December 29, 2017.

At times in life we will come across individuals or situations that will bring us down & makes us feel as if we are not good enough or LOVED. These situations we face come with many emotions such as; sadness, depression, confusion, tears, loneliness, anger & hate… It is very easy to fall into a dark hole that the enemy wants to put you in.

Today I would like to remind you how loved you are by Jesus Christ.

He converts “sadness” into happiness, “confusion” into clarity, “tears” into smiles, “loneliness” into companionship, “anger” into calmness & “hate” into LOVE.

These are gifts God gives to our lives through His son Jesus Christ. When we open our hearts & trust in the Lord, clarity of who He is will come with showers of grace!

I would like to encourage you to always remember that Jesus LOVES you more than anyone will ever love you, you are not alone or forgotten & you my friend are more than enough. No matter the situation you find yourself in, there is another side of pain. HEALING. 

{Psalm 147:3} “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

New Season.

December 26, 2017.

Looking through “shoebox” for photographs. I couldn’t help to notice the transformation from 2012 to 2017. It was amazing to see the difference in the person I was 5 years ago & compare to what God has done. Completely different individuals. In all ways that statement is entirely true.

Have you ever had those moments? You know… those moment when you’re looking for something & you come across an old photography album, old phone, or a box full of old memories & curiosity kicks in. At that moment all you want to do is look though it, you do & become amazed??? That’s exactly how it felt.

God showed me so many MOMENTS from old memories. God is incredible to turn BEAUTY FROM ASHES. To plant a seed & prune the bush for it to grow beautiful & strong.

From laughs, tears, jumping in a lake with a soul sister after church, traveling hours to go to your favorite artist festival, conferences teaching & sharing the Word of God, mission trips, places, tears from heart break, breakups & makeups, falling in love, getting engaged, visiting the happiest place on earth on your 26th birthday (Disneyland) & seeing God’s hand over it. The provision He had on everything. I can go on & on all day. For now I’ll stop right there. (Remember, I said “for now.”)

As sad as it may sound, heart breaking as it is knowing things will go wrong, we’re not perfect & we’ll never be. In the middle of it all the mess of the world, whatever you do, don’t become stuck in that season of NOT growing. Allow God to be God & help you grow.

Friend, God is doing something amazing. Remember when earlier I mentioned God plants a seed?

{He is A gardener He prunes a rose tree to get it ready for a season of growth, God prunes us to take us into a new season of growth & expansion.}

There’s so much beauty within you!!!

Keep taking photographs, go on adventures, serve God, allow the Holy Spirit to lead & always remember the scriptures {John 15:1-8.}I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

I love you & I am praying for you! Who ever you may be taking the time to read this long post… I am praying for you. ♥️